Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Dear white van man...

Hello cupcakes - i hope you are all well :)

This is just a quick post to sum up my day. As most of you know, today was D-day for me, as i left my life in Gloucester to return home after recent events. Now i am well aware i have mentioned this in 2 and a half posts (yes, 'and a half' because technically it was also about Lush hehe) however i will now try not to do posts about this subject, as A) it's my personal life. B) i don't want to bore you all, and C) this is the start of a new beginning now, hopefully the worst is over :) I say this - however, please don't hold me to it haha, if im having a really really down day, i may need to have a little moan - but i'll try not to drag on to much! Again, just another thank-you's to all the comments i keep recieving, they are keeping me going and each one has put a smile on my face, a tear in my eye or a skip in my walk.

I guess this post is almost like closure to me, i just wanted to tell you guys how it all went. The 2 men who turned up to help put ALL my things into the van (i seriously have way to many shoes) where so lovely, and they got it loaded much quicker than i imagined. Once the van was loaded, i did have a knot in my stomach, and a massive lump in my throat - as i knew it was time. Time to lock the door, post the keys back through the letterbox, and say goodbye to that chapter of my life. I felt like i was saying goodbye to so much more than just bricks and mortar though, i felt like i was saying goodbye to tears, the old miserable me, and everything i had fought for, for the last 2 and a half years.

Before i got in the van, i had to take a massive deep breath to keep my head straight, and choke back tears. The man who was my driver was absolutely fabulous, and im so glad i didn't get some 50-odd year old, with crumbs in his beard and an eye for cleavage. My driver was called Paul, and my step-dad (who is wonderful might i just add) had already pre-rung him to let him know this was going to be a very difficult day for me, and my situation. When we got talking, i felt like i had known him ages, like a funny uncle you only see every now and again. We put on an 'Ibiza Anthems' CD and raved all the way home. We spoke about allsorts, family, music, holidays and everything inbetween. It turns out he has a friend in Preston (where i go with the girls for a night out) and he is up here in a few weeks, so he has given me his email address, and im going to show him how to rock it out Preston style!!! Not that he will read this, but i just wanted to say how at ease he made me feel, how funny he was, and how much he took my mind off things - i really did, and do, appreciate it.

When i got home, i was greeted by my family. Everybody pitched in, helping to unload my copious amounts of shoes, make-up and other fabulous belongings. It's officially the start of a new beginning for me now, and im sure it will have ups and downs, but i hope in the end - i will find real happiness.

I can't believe how therapeutic it feels to write all of that down. I've learnt so much from blogging, and i've only been doing it a very short while.

What do you feel you have learnt about blogging so far?

Stay fabulous my little panda-pops...


  1. So glad your journey home went okay and Paul your driver sounds lovely :). All the best for the future, do you have any plans now your back home?

    Sadie x

  2. Awww you don't have to apologise for venting your feelings on your blog, at the end of the day it's your little space of the internet to do whatever you like.
    Glad to hear how lovely the driver was, it really is nice how friendly he was. Good luck settling back in at home :)

  3. Yeah laura you dont hae to apologise its your blog and ur space to ramble about whatever you like. i personally loved reading glad ur journey home went ok...xx

  4. Thankyou girls for all you comments :)

    My main plans Sadie, are to join a gym (to get fit and take my mind off everything) sort out another job, decide if i want to get my own place with a friend or stay at home, party with all the girls, and lots and lots of retail therapy!!! :)

    I think i apoligize because sometimes people can see it as attention grabbing, and as i've said in one of my posts, that really isn't my style. Paul really was lovely, and i also returned to a card from my next door neighbours (who, as a family we are quite close with) saying how sorry they where, and if i needed somewhere to stay they had 2 spare rooms and was always welcome, with a list of telephone numbers, which really warmed my heart <3

    I just can't get over how lovely everybody has been, from the blogging world to the real world - i really do appreciate it :) xxx

  5. Sounds like a tough day indeed! But from reading back to your previous posts I'd have to say that it sounds like you definitely made the right decision. No point wasting more emotion and heartache on something(someone) that is just beneath you.

    I'm always amazed how women will stay with jerks who tear their hearts out again and again?
    So glad you've found the strength to MOVE ON! Here's to the future...thanks for sharing your story!!

  6. Thankyou :) it was tough, but got to the point were it had to be done! I think women stick around with men like that sometimes, because they are to emotionally insecure, can't imagine their life without that person, and feel like they NEED them.